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Fuck the Fire Department

by Backdoor Frontman

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about

My archaeology indicates that Snoop tweeted "... ain't nobody writing a song called "Fuck the Fire Department"" on June 20, 2020. Unless you count Public Enemy's "911 Is a Joke".
The first version of my song I had was by June 25! Now finally you can hear it. It's not the approach you might initially assume!
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lyrics

Roller skatin’ by the beach wearin’ just my Speedo
I met a fine girl with a healthy libido
Dropped some lines, we hit it off just right
Took her back to my crib and did it all night

We been together now for quite a long time
I put on a little weight but she’s still lookin’ fine
As we got a little older something else went wrong
Cuz I've slowed down—but she's still going on strong!


Now I can’t keep up with her mad desires
Then this problem started when we had a grease fire
The firemen come in all hot and sweaty
By the time they left she was hot, wet, and ready

She jumped onto me like an animal in heat
But once I was done I was hung in, like, defeat
She was wanting more I was reaching for her toys
Wearing out my skinny arms simulating a team of boys


A few days later I surprised her alone
With this fund-raisin’ calendar she'd brought home
All the firemen photographed from our district
Were posing like the physical requirements were strict

Now my girl got herself a notion that... I-can-see
And I think that it’s more of a plan than a fantasy
I worriedly return to an empty apartment
Because what she wants to do is...
She wants to … fuck the fire department!
What?!
Fuck the fire department!
Yeah she does!
Fuck the fire department!
Every one of them
Fuck the fire department!

BRIDGE
All those young studs lookin' so buff
Make her wanna get freaky and get it on rough
They’re the ones who get hot, in their particular line of work
She’s the one that gets bothered, when they’re peeling off their shirts

She wants to
Fuck the fire department
Every day!
Fuck the fire department
All night!
Fuck the fire department
My baby wanna
Fuck the fire department!


When they’re openin’ up... that hydrant
I’m worn out working to… pay on my rent
She wants to take a ride, down all those poles
Feel a three alarm fire in… all her holes

LAST VERSE
Knowing that she's wet for all of... those fire fighters
Made me fill my pockets up with... cigarette lighters
gotta keep ‘em too busy, those… sexy narcissists
Even if I have to be a full-time arsonist!

I can’t let her...
Fuck the fire department
Even occasionally
Fuck the fire department
Ideally not once
Fuck the fire department
I’d prefer she not
Fuck the fire department!

credits

released October 15, 2021
Written by Jason Musser (BMI)

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Backdoor Frontman Elgin, Illinois

Sometimes-comical original songs from an arguably prescient arguably genius edge-lord.
Yep.

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