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Bob Dylan's 82nd Dream

from Star Witness by Backdoor Frontman

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lyrics

I got up in the morning and caught the school bus
Rode it to the levee where they had some news for us
''You best turn back and go on home; there ain't no school today.
The bridge washed out, the levee broke, and that's all there is to say."

Go home and take it easy is what I wanted most
But I'd finished off that Kesey book with the last of the French toast.
Now, the bookmobile is stranded on the north side of the river.
I already called the pizza place. They said they don't deliver.

Went out in to the woods where I found a tree to climb.
When I came back in I found my dad committing several crimes.
He'd slaughtered all the salesmen who had come up to our door.
But at least the house was nice and clean--they'd vacuumed all the floors.

He told me not to worry--we'd have food for the winter.
Mom pointed out "There's no charcoal" so Dad had had to send her
Out to the store to get some more before they locked their door
Or we'd have to give in, hunker down, and eat it all tar-tar

"You know I don't eat meat," I said, "as you well know.
Not since that time we were confined because of all that snow."
He threw me out and told me all I did was to complain.
"You think the world revolves 'round you. You're really much too vain."

I went out in to the fields where I spied an aeroplane.
It was flying low and fast and close and it landed on the grain.
The pilots fell out complaining that flyin' was really hard.
"But anyway, we're here to save you: we're the National Guard"

I said, "Thank God that you have come to take me into town.
Everything we have out here is boring, flat, and brown.
We only get two channels here; we can't even order cable.
The only place to go for fun is out into the stable."

I said I'd always seen myself as a famous puppeteer.
They sympathized and said there weren't much call for that 'round here.
"This may be your big break, son. This whole state is doomed."
So I hopped aboard, they did that same, and then away we zoomed.

credits

from Star Witness, released August 1, 1999
Written by Jason Musser

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Backdoor Frontman Elgin, Illinois

Sometimes-comical original songs from an arguably prescient arguably genius edge-lord.
Yep.

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