1. |
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[INTRO RIFF]
VERSE 1:
I started actin' up in school cause it really cramped my style.
Sittin' _with_ the same gang gets old after a while.
Well I drove my mama crazy till she's almost 'bout to cry
Now I'm the boy who got expelled from Homeschool High.
[INTRO RIFF]
VERSE 2:
I spent _10_ years takin' classes with my sisters and my brothers
Always _with_ the same old girls and no chance of meetin' others.
But my smokin' in the bathroom and grafitti didn't fly
Now I'm the boy who got expelled from Homeschool High.
[Lead-in to bridge: AAAA C]
BRIDGE:
I got _kicked_ out of boarding school; I'm livin' in the park
It ain't too bad in the daytime but I'm sca-a-a-red of the dark!
And though relaxin' ev'ry day is gonna be a lots of fun
I guess I'll never join the law firm of Davidovich and Sons.
VERSE 3:
I'm gonna soup up my jalopy till it's absolutely tops
And I'll spend ev'ry day outrunnin' all the cops.
If they ask who that delinquent was you'll have to testify,
"Why, that's the boy who got expelled from Homeschool High."
[Repeat BRIDGE and LAST VERSE]
[End riff]
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2. |
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VERSE 1:
Rushing to class I cut through Building C
where the dentistry program is rumored to be
a rumble up ahead was disturbing the peace now I
Rush for the phone to call campus police--HEY!
Calling all cars--save us from the menace
Presented by these rowdy future hygenists.
It's bad--they look good and I can't turn away
from the cat fight ragin' in the dentistry program today.
VERSE 2:
Askin’ bout the cause made me feel like a cynic.
They were fightin bout the hot single doctor in clinic.
Girls will be girls that's what they're gonna say 'bout the
Cat fight in the dentistry program
CHORUS:
Cat fight--in the dentistry program
that sight--I won't forget it no ma'am
To-night--it will be in my dreams
Although in that version will be more obscene the
cat fight--in the dentistry program
that sight--I won't forget it no ma'am
It's bad--they look good and I can't turn away
from the cat fight ragin' in the dentistry program today
CHORUS:
Cat fight--in the dentistry program
that sight--I won't forget it no ma'am
It's bad--they look good and I can't turn away
from the cat fight ragin' in the dentistry program today
VERSE 3:
Their hair was disheveled--their sweats were in tatters
The thin one looked good and hey so did the fatter
A siren rang out one said "Girls let's scatter!"
from the cat fight.... in the dentistry program today
CHORUS:
Cat fight--in the dentistry program
that sight--I won't forget it no
It's bad--they look good and I can't turn away
from the cat fight ragin' in the dentistry program today
Calling all cars--save us from the menace
Presented by these rowdy future hygenists
It's bad--they look good and I can't turn away
from the cat fight ragin' in the dentistry program today
[Guitar solo]
CHORUS:
Cat fight--in the dentistry program
that sight--I won't forget it no ma'am
To-night, it’ll be in my dreams
Although in that version will be more obscene
The Catfight--in the dentistry program
That sight--I won’t for get it no
It's bad--they look good and I can't turn away
from the cat fight ragin' in the dentistry program today
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3. |
Double Decker Train
03:10
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VERSE 1:
My baby left this mornin' on that double decker train
If that girl does not come back things will not be the same
She's done it all before and it give me so much pain
But that girl cannot resist that paralegal game!
CHORUS:
She's a DAY-ly train rider
But I cain't give her the boot
When she hears that whistle blowin' . . .
That GIRL's bound to commute
VERSE 2:
I used to work long hours, until that bubble burst
Now the only money I can get comes out of that girl's purse
But when my day comes and that market turns around
I'll be the one that she'll be watching riding off downtown.
CHORUS 2:
She's a DAY-ly train rider
But I cain't give her the boot
When she hears that whistle blowin' . . .
That GIRL's bound to commute
Guitar SOLO OVER VERSE PROGRESSION.
INTRO RIFF 1x, then walk up from F to G.
6-string C6-tuned LAP STEEL solo.
INTRO RIFF 1x, then one more lap steel bit.
BAND DROPS OUT EXCEPT FOR KICK DRUM for...
VERSE 3:
I wake UP alone each morning, a-BOUT ten forty-five
I MISS that woman so darn much the TEARS fall from my eyes
I'll go DOWN and pick her up some day, stop BEIN' a useless louse
As SOON as I can GET myself DRESSed and leave the house
CHORUS 3:
She's a DAY-ly train rider
But I cain't give her the boot
When she hears that whistle blowin' . . .
That GIRL's bound to commute
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4. |
Not Everyone Is Special
01:34
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VERSE 1:
Some people bring into the world something new
A unique insight; a novel point of view
You may say to yourself “This does not describe me”
‘Cause not everyone is special, as I think you’ll agree.
VERSE 2:
You may possess a quality your family can see
The ability to donate blood, provide a kidney
But of value to the rest of us you’re wholely free
‘Cause not everyone is special, as I think you’ll agree.
BRIDGE:
You are redundant, redundant
There’s nothing special ‘bout you
You are redundant, extraneous
And most of your family is too
Your sister could be useful ‘cause she’s pretty hot
And your mom’s kinda cute but her figure’s shot
By what are you good for? Not a lot
There’s nothing special ‘bout you
VERSE 3:
But at least you haven’t made the world a worse place yet
Like Idi Amin or August Pinochet
That you’ll never accomplish even that’s a safe bet
‘Cause not everyone is special, as I think you’ll agree.
Yes not everyone is special, as I think you’ll agree.
And although you are not special that’s all right
with
me!
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5. |
Backdoor Frontman
03:24
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VERSE 1:
I heard your band rehearsin' from my basement Sunday night
Those horns were hot that drummer smoked and you were out of sight
There's just one problem with your band one thing you ought to know
Well that frontman singin' for your band--girl, he's just got to go!
INTRO lick 2x
VERSE 2:
You say he owns the P.A. … and the rehearsal space
You say right now you can't afford to let me take his place.
That's not what I'm suggestin', not what I want to do...
I'm just sayin' when he's gone let me step in his shoes.
I'll be your backdoor frontman and I'll put on one hot private show
BRIDGE:
I've got much better hair, and I've got leather pants
And my mama says she thinks that I can really dance!
I’ll convince you all if you just give me the chance
GUITAR SOLO 1
INTRO RIFF x2
GUITAR SOLO 2
INTRO RIFF x2
VERSE 3:
Well, no I can’t really make it to a show
That don’t sound like a place where I’d like to go
We should prob’ly keep it quiet… on the old down-low
So let’s just feel each other out, girl, let’s take it slow.
INTRO RIFF x2
VERSE 4:
To be completely honest I’m kinda in another band
And I’m kinda stuck because we all chipped in for that van.
The problem is there I’m just the bass-playin’ side-man
They say I don’t sing as good as the guitar player can
But I’ll be YOUR backdoor frontman and I’ll put one hot private show.
(SPOKEN):
If we go slow...
You can help me out a little bit
Maybe change the key on a few numbers
Or, ya know, maybe I should just go…
We’ll be in touch.
Alright!
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6. |
Jail School
00:26
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There’s a place for reforming those underperforming
on batt’ries of standardized tests.
Intense education and incarceration
where teachers wear bulletproof vests.
But three cos-playing child cops will go undercover
recovering clues to a plot,
And one honest custodian will help bust the bad warden.
Also there is a robot!
Watch their adventures now
… in Jail School!
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7. |
I Won't Care
04:23
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All the friends I told a-BOUT you, well, they all agree:
Based on my unbiased account that you’re no good for me.
They say you must have somebody else I almost wish it were that,
But the way you treat me makes me feel as good as your doormat.
CHORUS:
Someday you’re gonna want me Yeah you’re gonna want me
Someday you’re gonna want me Yeah!
And I won’t care.
You’re walkin’ ‘round in your sexy little track suit and shoes <<I want you, unfortunately>>
But when I try to get with you, you feel you’ve gotta break loose
<<want you, and that’s too bad for me>>
I’ve begun to see there are girls out there who look at me
And see a man they’d do a lot to try to keep happy.
Someday you’re gonna want me Yeah!
You're gonna want me
Someday you're gonna want me Yeah!
And I won’t care.
Well
There’s Karen from work—her divorce just went through
And Bella from college—she might replace you
But Penny’s the girl who--if I had any sense—I’d marry right now, and put you in the past tense!
Someday you’re gonna want me Yeah!
And I won’t care.
INSTR B3 ORGAN SOLO
BASS SOLO
So if you don’t wise up, my girl, I’m gonna just walk out
And then you’ll miss what all the other girls all dream about, baby
I’m paying so much and I just want some more return
So if you don’t wise up it’s gonna be the next girl’s turn
CHORUS:
Someday you’re gonna want me Yeah you’re gonna want me
Someday you’re gonna want me Yeah!
And I won’t care.
Well, you might want to kiss me you might want to stop
Makin’ me do all the work-—hey-—you might get on top!
Before I get tired of doing for you
Before you get fired babe before we are through!
CHORUS:
Someday you’re gonna want me Yeah you’re gonna want me
Someday you’re gonna want me Yeah!
And I won’t care.
OUTRO: ORGAN SOLO!
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8. |
KILL KILL KILL
01:38
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A song for those frustrating characters in zombie apocalypse movies who don't yet realize what kind of movie they're in!
VERSE 1:
When civilization is crumbling down KILL KILL KILL
When anarchy is all you've found KILL KILL KILL
YOU craft a masterpiece of legislation;
I'll rely on bullet penetration.
Ya gotta KILL KILL KILL if you want to survive.
VERSE 2:
When a stranger... accosts your child KILL KILL KILL
With a look in his eyes that's slightly wild KILL KILL KILL
When I'm out for a walk with my flamethrower
You might think I can't sink much lower.
You've got to KILL KILL KILL if you want to survive.
BRIDGE:
You say that you can't live like a savage, that's alright with me,
But I might have to put you down for
behaving so recklessly and endangering the entire group.
VERSE 3:
When you’re surrounded by people who don’t speak your language KILL KILL KILL
When you encounter a stranger crossing the main bridge KILL KILL KILL
Regard everyone you meet with suspicion.
Praise the lord, pass the ammunition.
Ya gotta KILL KILL KILL if you want to survive.
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9. |
Stupid Things
03:04
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Well I dern near got away with it, speedin' home BE-fore dawn
But a busted headlight tripped me up and that COP's red lights went on
And the empty bottle on the floor that's what clipped my wings
Well it's one more time when I got caught for doin' stupid things.
When I was working down in Louisianne I lived by the zip code rule*
But when my WIFE arrived as a nice surprise, I saw it played me for a fool
That's how I lost a wonderful girl who treated me like a king
I learned IF you wanna stop gettin' caught--stop doin' stupid things
CHORUS:
You don't wanna lose that job? Well, stop doin' stupid things!
Don't wanna get caught by the law? Stop doin' stupid things!
You don't wanna hurt that girl who's sittin' home wearin your ring?
If you wanna stop gettin' caught, stop doin' stupid things
BRIDGE:
You're gonna learn... however smart that you may be
That you've gotta earn that heart to hold the key
But what you deserve--that's up to you to choose
And once you got it son, well it's all yours to lose
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10. |
Stable Relationship
02:29
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Accident'ly pick up when my mom calls my cell phone
She's naggin bout when I'm gonna bring a nice girl home?
I'm telling her I gotta start my day I gotta get up
But she talks for two hours and she just won't let up
At work they all talkin bout the company party
The boss, receptionist and my best friend Marty
Hey I got no girlfriend, I ain't got no wife
So please stop nagging me about my pers'nal life
Because I'm young and I'm not in a stable relationship
Irons in the fire and I'm focused on makin' it
Gankers on my jock gonna give them all the slip
By saying that I'm not in a stable relationship
Get a call from my brother, yeah, about my nephew
Ask me why I didn't show for his recital at school
I said Stay out of my bi-ness bro, lay off of the pryin'
Ain't my fault if some little kid was crying.
Then I meet a cute girl--open mike at the bar
We hit another club then go out to my car
I thrill her with my hands but there's nothin for me
I'm tired of.. givin it... all away for free
Because I'm young and I'm not in a stable relationship
Irons in the fire and I'm focused on makin' it
Gankers on my jock gonna give them all the slip
By saying that I'm not in a stable relationship
Voice 2: Hey man, you got a girl. What a-BOUT Les-lie?
Yo not a girlfriend--F.W.B!
Alice? Nu-uh. Tracy? No, she's gay
Well how 'bout Casey?
Told her to go away!
Because I'm young and I'm--
Voice 3: Dude, you aren't even that young
Man shut the hell up, 'fore I... rip out ya lung
Voice 2: Yeah, you're old, man, you told me you were forty-two
Voice 3: And you live with your mom, how come she called you?
Dude she was at work already that day, so why don't you two... take your band and go away
Because I'm young and I'm not in a stable relationship
Irons in the fire and I'm focused on makin' it
Gankers on my jock gonna give them all the slip
By saying that I'm not in a stable relationship
I'm young
Voice 2: <cough>bullshit
Yeah, young and free
Voice 3: Ok, grampa
Just haven't met the girl who's right for me
Voice 2: You mean blind?
Haven't found one worthy to share my palace
Voice 3: Your mom's basement?
Voice 2: Don't forget your Cialis!
Because I'm young and I'm not in a stable relationship
Irons in the fire and I'm focused on makin' it
Gankers on my jock gonna give them all the slip
By saying that I'm not in a stable relationship
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11. |
Morose Code
03:06
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Backdoor Frontman Elgin, Illinois
Sometimes-comical original songs from an arguably prescient arguably genius edge-lord.
Yep.
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