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HLR Song 1​.​1​.​0​.​3

from Star Witness by Backdoor Frontman

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lyrics

CHORUS:
Oh the HLR is a very fine thing, it’ll never ever never ever stop.
You can run it all day, call it from L.A. it’ll work just like a clock.
It’ll be your best friend, it’ll never ABEND and it’s just two million a pop.
Oh the HLR is a very fine thing, it’ll never ever never ever stop.

Now you might ask if Ericsson can sell you something as good.
Those medieval cranks maybe could compete if it could be carved from wood.
Get some money from the bank, you’ll have yourself to thank and you’ll give a fellow yank a job
Or will you be a fink, a godless commie pink, a dirty Saab-loving sod?

CHORUS:
The HLR is a very fine thing, it’ll never ever never ever stop.
You can run it all day, call it from L.A. it’ll work just like a clock.
It’ll be your best friend, it’ll never ABEND and it’s just two million a pop.
Oh the HLR is a very fine thing, it’ll never ever never ever stop.

BRIDGE:
And if it does will your subs all sail to a cybernetic Sargasso?
If you have to ask we’ll all reply an indignant resounding ‘No!’
It’s the reason those techs over at Nynex never have cause to be blue
‘Cause we give you two, it’s the least we can do for being so loyal and true.

CHORUS:
The HLR is a very fine thing, it’ll never ever never ever stop.
You can run it all day, call it from L.A. it’ll work just like a clock.
It’ll be your best friend, it’ll never ABEND and it’s just two million a pop.
Oh the HLR is a very fine thing, it’ll never ever, never never, never never, ever ever, never ever, never never stop.

credits

from Star Witness, released August 1, 1999
Written by Jason Musser

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Backdoor Frontman Elgin, Illinois

Sometimes-comical original songs from an arguably prescient arguably genius edge-lord.
Yep.

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